The Wall #13: THE LEGEND OF TARZAN

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Alright, time to put another brick in The Wall! This time we go from Great Britain to the jungles of the Congo, and it's time to talk about The Legend of Tarzan. Did this movie swing or miss? Let's find out.


This movie... is also pretty boring, more so than The BFG, as a matter of fact. It's not really terrible, per se, but there's quite a few things wrong with this one.

So this movie does something that, I have to admit, is actually pretty interesting. Instead of going the predictable route of basically introducing us to Tarzan (played by Alexander Skarsgard), this movie goes on a different route with the character and moves his character forward in time when he is John Clayton III, a lord of… not important. Basically, he’s already integrated in regular human society, but is informed by George Washington Williams (played by Samuel L. Jackson) informs him about the plans of Captain Leon Rom (played by Christoph Waltz), who is a corrupt Belgian officer who was hired to round up and slave as many locals for free labor, and get diamonds. It’s basically up for Tarzan and George to put a stop to this, but it won’t be easy. Also, Jane is there. She’s played by Margot Robbie and she’s pretty terrible, but let’s go at this one step at a time.

I actually really like the plot here, which seems odd to come from someone like me, but looking at the elements that are just in the script you can see that there’s a good, strong backbone to what could be a pretty interesting, fun take on a classic character. It shows you Tarzan’s backstory through brief flashbacks to fill you in on how he came to be, and the rest of the movie goes about showing you how he went from the wild, to refined gentleman, to seeing the movie tear him back down to his roots. I think that’s a pretty interesting and compelling internal conflict, which would be really strong if it was carried by good characters and strong performances to really drive the point home.

And therein lies the problem.

The thing that really drags this movie down hard is the acting. The dialogue doesn’t really help, but I don’t get the impression from the acting that the actors were really trying to push this material into anything more than what it is. Then again, they didn’t have much to work with, anyway.

Christoph Waltz is pretty much just being Christoph Waltz. Despite having all of the elements to make a pretty despicable villain, he’s just kind of your stereotypical corrupt scumbag, with nothing of substance to his character, and he hardly gets to do much as it is.

As I said earlier, Margot Robbie is pretty terrible in this. For one, she can’t decide on what accent to keep, and no matter which of the two she settles with, you can’t really buy her as someone who lived in the 19th century, anyway. Het chemistry with Tarzan is non-existent- it’s even worse than Henry Cavill and Amy Adams in Batman v. Superman, which is saying a LOT. You don’t even believe that these two are friends, let alone married. Robbie is pretty obnoxious, and she plays the damsel in distress, which is particularly annoying here because she herself says the line: “I am not a damsel”. Come on, between this and Batman v. Superman, it’s almost as if Warner Brothers doesn’t have a clue on how to write a female lead character or something. Although Robbie’s example is particularly hilarious because even though she’s a worthless damsel in distress, she STILL shows more skill and competence than Tarzan, who gets his ass handed to him on a silver platter constantly throughout the movie. Some King of the Jungle this guy is.

Speaking of which, the worst thing about this movie is Tarzan himself. He is such a dull, boring, lifeless character. He hardly talks, and when does he says some of the stiffest dialogue you can imagine. Skarsgard hardly emotes in this movie, so it really adds nothing to your lead character- the one we are supposed to stick with and follow! This is strange because all the elements to make Tarzan a great lead character are there, but there’s really NOTHING to him. I partially blame this on the near deathly-serious tone to the movie- again, much like Batman v. Superman, it just sucks any sort of life out of you. Also just like BvS, it’s pretty hard to take seriously when you’re exposed to ridiculously bad action scene after terribly choreographed action scene- the terrible CGI doesn’t help matters either. Seriously, they CG Tarzan’s hand, and it looks unnatural in the worst way possible.

Fortunately, if there’s any reason to see this movie for is for Samuel L. Jackson. I wouldn’t say his performance here is anything new from him, but he brings the most fun and life to the movie than anyone or anything else. He has an interesting backstory- even if it’s just told to us- and he’s a very effective comic relief that manages to be more relatable than either Tarzan or Jane themselves. I don’t think his acting fits the time period- unless he thinks he’s playing his character from Django Unchained or Hateful Eight again- but it works at bringing a spark of life to the movie. I even think he manages to bring the most life out of Tarzan himself, but those moments are all too brief.

I’m going to briefly mention Djimon Hounsou, who plays the sympathetic villain (not accurate, but just roll with it) of the movie. I love the costume design for him and his tribe, and I think he’s one of the more outstanding elements for what could have ended up making for a good movie, but again, he’s there all too brief, and not really used to good effect.

I do think there’s a good movie here, but its direction and acting REALLY bog it down to just a big slog to sit through. It’s far from the worst movie I’ve seen this year, but I can’t say I was that enthused about sitting through it.

(Wow. 1,000 words exactly. Didn't think I'd see the say.)


Would I recommend watching this movie? For a Tarzan movie, it's a complete disaster- there's no question about that. But as a movie on its own right...

Rating:

:bulletorange: 4/10 (Rental) :bulletorange:

If for some reason you feel like you have to see this movie, I don't think there's any harm in renting it, but that's about as strong as recommendation as I can muster for it. If you pass it up, you're not really missing out on anything big. Oh well, at least there's always the Disney version... with all of its Phil Collins-y glory. Siiiiigh.

Anyway, that's all for this review. I'll see you all next time on The Wall. Later!
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CohenSander's avatar
I didn't even know they made another Tarzan movie?!